I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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