Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
