I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
His nipple licking is glorious
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