I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
