When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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