he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
a search helicopter?!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
