I forgot how hot balto sounded
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
