:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
