Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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