remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I will pee on everything he values.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
