he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
