dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
