Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
