You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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