season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
