i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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