giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
