I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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