So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
