Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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