I didn't shave. On purpose
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
