ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
