4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
