The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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