The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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