Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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