her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
