I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
