It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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