I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
