i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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