your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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