We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
