I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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