we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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