Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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