You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
