I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
