Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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