So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
