Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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