I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
