matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just invented taco cereal.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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