oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
