And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
