I love having hate sex.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Oh god it's open bar.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
