dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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