"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You took a bar mat shot.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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