I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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