And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
