It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
